Beautiful Day

    Tuesday, June 29, 2004  


I'm quite diligent in facilitating Ellie toward her calling. She has a prophetic word spoken to her about dancing. And I'm taking it quite seriously. I want to do everything I can to prepare her in skills to be ready when opportunities do come up in the future. She does nine classes a week. She dances every day from Monday to Friday. She loves it. She doesn't mind missing school if she's sick, but she wouldn't miss any dance classes. She hasn't missed a single class this year. Even today she hurt her foot and she couldn't walk. She didn't want to go to school, but even though she jumped around with one foot, she still went to her dance class. Just as well it's contemporary, most of the actions were just sitting on the floor. I feel quite good about myself, seeing that she does so well in dance and piano(she's playing pieces of grade 4 and she's only 6), and just over the weekend, my husband and I were also delighted and surprised to find out that she has a beautiful voice and she sang us a song "Autumn leaves" all in tune.
Well, the point is, while I'm feeling good about being diligent facilitating Ellie, the Lord's challenging me with my diligence toward my own calling. I also have prophetic words spoken to me toward different things, but as far as training and facilitating toward the calling, I've hardly done any. I know very well, that even if Ellie is gifted in dancing, she has to be properly trained and taught all the skills required in order for the gift to be utilised. But for myself, I seem to just tend to look for opportunities, and when opportunities do come, because of lack of training and skill, I'm not able to catch and maintain those opportunities. There are so many things that I can do, and should be doing, learning, go to trainings, but I just can't be bothered and neglect them with all kinds of excuses. I feel awefully wrong or even a sin to not to support Ellie the best I can, but sort of numb toward myself. So what the Lord told me today is, He loves Ellie just as much as He loves me. If it's a sin neglecting the trainings for Ellie, then it's also a sin neglecting the trainings for myself. In the end, the callings and giftings are all for His kingdom purpose and He requires me to undertake necesary trainings in order to do His job.

    As seen by Susan @ 12:54 AM

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    Sunday, June 27, 2004

Helping The Small Blogs
Filed under: Research— Kara @ 4:09 pm
from Matt Read, which I found over at Eszter’s new blog.
There are by some estimates more than a million weblogs. But most of them get no visibility in search engines. Only a few “A-List” blogs get into the top search engine results for a given topic, while the majority of blogs just don’t get noticed. The reason is that the smaller blogs don’t have enough links pointing to them. But this posting could solve that. Let’s help the smaller blogs get more visibility!

This posting is GoMeme 4.0. It is part of an experiment to see if we can create a blog posting that helps 1000’s of blogs get higher rankings in Google. So far we have tried 3 earlier variations. Our first test, GoMeme 1.0, spread to nearly 740 blogs in 2.5 days. This new version 4.0 is shorter, simpler, and fits more easily into your blog.
Why are we doing this? We want to help thousands of blogs get more visibility in Google and other search engines. How does it work? Just follow the instructions below to re-post this meme in your blog and add your URL to the end of the Path List below. As the meme spreads onwards from your blog, so will your URL. Later, when your blog is indexed by search engines, they will see the links pointing to your blog from all the downstream blogs that got this via you, which will cause them to rank your blog higher in search results. Everyone in the Path List below benefits in a similar way as this meme spreads. Try it.
Instructions: Just copy this entire post and paste it into your blog. Then add your URL to the end of the path list below, and pass it on! (Make sure you add your URLs as live links or HTML code to the Path List below.)

Path List
Minding the Planet
Luke Hutteman’s public virtual MemoryStream
Mohammad.Abdulfatah, Chronicles Of
Anand M, DotNet From India
Teucer’s Quiver
Bharath Ganesh, Making Technologies Interoperate
Richard Callaby’s Blog
Peter’s Blog
A Programmer In Training
Matt’s Googly Blog
Kara Kerwin
What a beautiful Day!
(your URL goes here! But first, please copy this line and move it down to the next line for the next person).
(NOTE: Be sure you paste live links for the Path List or use HTML code.)

    As seen by Susan @ 1:09 AM

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    Thursday, June 24, 2004

To go or not to go: update

I don't think I'll go. Timing's not quite right. But today at church I felt there's a door for me to knock. I knocked, and I could have a peek into what's inside: there's harvest on the other side of the door, crops everywhere fully grown, waiting for the labourors to reap the harvest.
I'm pretty sure I have the calling to go, but I'd like to aim for long term stay. I think I'd sow into some ministries over there for now and wait for the right timing for the whole family to go. Thanks for the prayers!

    As seen by Susan @ 4:45 PM

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    Monday, June 21, 2004

Lemonade Diet?

What do you think about this? It's an ad coming out of my fax machine.

"This is taking America by Storm. They say it has changed lives! It was designed by Homeopath Stanley Burroughs who spotted the connection between weight loss, health and natural eating.
Use it to:
. Reduce Weight(sometimes dramatically!)
. Recover from sickness
. Clean out your system
. Build body tissue
The Diet works because it:
- Dissolves Toxins in the body
- Keeps skin young and elastic
- Builds a healthy bloodstream
- Eliminates Waste
- Purifies your glands
- Cleans your kidneys
- Relives pressure on nerves

Seven pound weight losses have been seen: it only takes 5 days to show real benefit and although some people follow it for up to 40 days you do not have to."

    As seen by Susan @ 11:24 PM

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The Torch and the Sword

Nothing can describe the feeling when you find a really good book. I picked up this book "The Torch and the Sword" by Rick Joyner last week and I just LOVE it. It's so rich and solid and I'm enjoying it immensely. It's the sequel to The Final Quest and The Call, which has impacted me a great deal a few years ago. Other books alike that I've read is Tommy Tenny's books, God Catcher is my favourite.
The book is a compilation of fourteen years of prophetic visions, dreams and experiences. It's an awesome book. I can't even read it fast, it's so full, I can only take a couple of pages at a time.

    As seen by Susan @ 11:14 PM

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    Friday, June 18, 2004

To go or not to go?

I'm thinking of having a trip to China next month(late July to early September). But I'm not sure. One minute I think it's God's will, the next minute I think it's myself. I can't even pray. I went to Hillsong women this morning, and whenver I closed my eyes, I felt this strong heartbeat of China. I just don't know if it's God. It could be just me making this all up. Whenever I prayed, it's all missions. But I really don't know if it's the right timing. I think I'll leave it for a couple of days, and see what happens. If you feel any impressions in your prayers please let me know, I'd really appreciate it.

    As seen by Susan @ 8:46 PM

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    Friday, June 11, 2004

Baby dedication -- another look

These couple of weeks when I went to Hillsong women, I felt some messages, but have been reluctant to put down to words. It's been a bit heavy. I tried to run away from it, but the message somehow would still get back before I could forget all about them.
So yesterday Bobbie Houston was actually sharing some stories about cruely in some third world countries. She read a story from a book which a girl shared her experience of being circumcised at 12 by her parents, the excruciating pain, the lying of her parents and incredible stupidity of the whole practise in the culture. Quite a lot of the audience didn't cope with the story very well. Heaps of people stoop up and left. Some fainted. Some had to be taken out by other people around them. Most people cried. One of the key words in the story was, the girl said, a kind person(missionary) gave me a hand and brought me out of my misery.
Along with the message, God's been dealing with me with the concept of baby dedication.
When we had our three children, we gave them each formal dedication. Ellie was dedicated twice, as the first one was not "formal" enough, and we didn't have a certificate, but was dedicated by Brian Houston. So we gave Ellie and Jamie another dedication, and they were dedicated by Darlene Zchech. Kate's dedicated by the pastors of another church, who have strong prophetic annointing. It's a popular practise now I think in Christian circle.
But up until now I think I've understood only half of what it meant to have children dedicated: we want God's protection over our children. But the other part, which is for His service, I think I've neglected.
This extreme example came into my mind: God sent Jesus to die for sinners. It's one thing to go suffer and die yourself, it's completely another thing to send (and watch)your child to be whipped and die.
When Jesus was telling Peter about his forthcoming turmoil, Peter was saying kind words that most of us would say.But Jesus said,"Get behind me Satan" . So in another words, would our kind intentions and thoughs that our children would not get hurt are those thoughts that belong to the same category of "get behind me Satan?" Have we been over protective and possesive to our children that God can't even touch them and use them? In baby dedications we said, we give our children to you, Father, but in reality we hold on to them so tight that they can't even belong to Father's plans.
Is it heavy for you? It's quite heavy for me. I know there's always this calling for missions for me. But until I(and especially my husband!) could get over this point, I will never be able to go.

    As seen by Susan @ 3:47 PM

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    Thursday, June 10, 2004

Prayer request from Bob

I was going to comment on Bob's blog, but I couldn't get into it. Since it's going to be a bit lengthy, I think I'll just write it here.
He asked everyone to pray for two of his friends. Anne's in hospital with a heart condition, and Judy is having struggle saying goodbye to her boyfriend.
These reminds me of two incidents I had before when I was in China. Since Bob said he's interested in things in China, so I think I'd just write a bit about it.
When I was working at college, we heard of a teacher that's got blood cancer. Her condition was very serious and the doctors gave her at most one month to live. Now the hospital she was staying at was the technically leading hospital in Beijing, and ever since the hospital was founded, only one with very light symptom had got out after six months, and no one else that had this disease has got out of the hospital alive. And this teacher was in very bad condition. So we went to the hospital to see her. She looked absolutely pale, and she had to have like 20 injections in one day. We offered her prayer. She and her husband were both communists and didn't know anything about God, but said they would like to try to believe if they can still have hope. One week later we went back to see her again, she looked normal, and she said that all the test result has come back normal. But she's still pretty weak as she's been lying so much on the bed without any excercise. And one month later she's back to work totally recovered.
I had another friend who was sort of like Judy. She was desperately in love with a guy who's very rich. He rent an luxuary apartment for her and would only come to visit her once a month or so for about a couple of hours. Most of the times around 3-4am in the mornings. He has other girlfriends as well. And every day she'd wait and listen to the footsteps outside the door and she wouldn't sleep much. She was getting to a very bad stage that she cut herself or turned the gas on a few times. With friends help she knows she's not gonna make it and agreed to come out for a break staying with friends for a few days. And she got saved. She knew what she should do. With lots of help and encouragement she wrote him a letter ending the relationship. He said he'd come to see her one particular morning to have a little talk and settle some things. So three of us girls went with her that night. We helped her pack and moved everything out for her. And just as we took the last bag out, her boyfriend came. And we quickly hid behind the trees. It was 4am. Within just a few minutes we heard her came out screaming with the full strength of her voice, yelling "I love him, how can I live without him..." and all the neighbours were looking out of the windows. She was screaming and battling, and three of us couldn't hold her still. Eventually we got her on a cab and took her back to our place. She didn't eat or talk for two days.(she stayed in a little room with four girls-roomates.) It was hard for her. But amazingly she was doing really well in her faith walk. A year later, God arranged for her a beautiful marriage. She was from countryside with no education background, and her husband was a master degree holder of Beijing university. He was handsome, caring, and a devout Christian. She looked totally different. I was always amazed at how one person can change in such dramatic ways in such a short period of time. I could hardly believe she's the same person that we "rescured" and dragged along the street screaming and yelling in the middle of the night just a year ago. I went to her wedding, she looked so happy and beautiful, and she's brought lots of people to the Lord.
Well, I didn't expect the "comment"that I was gonna write went this long.
Things like that happened a lot around me. It seemed like a different atmosphere. I'd still like to relate it like selling bread(I used this before in other posts if you have read along), here if you are a bread seller, you've got to do a lot of work, meet lots of competitions to get people take your bread, but in a third world country where people have been starving for days, all you need is giving them what you have, and they'll eagerly take it with great gratitute and appreciation. As long as you are there, there're always plenty of missions around you.

    As seen by Susan @ 12:56 AM

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    Wednesday, June 09, 2004

A dream

I had a dream last Thursday morning. In the dream I was watching TV and flipping channels. And then there's this movie that I watched years ago called the nightmare or something like that, about some girls being trapped in a prison for wrong reasons and being mistreated and tortured. It was a horror scene. And my kids were around. I said to myself, oh no, this is no good for the children, must change it. So I tried to change channel, or switch to video, or just to turn it off, but nothing worked, the horror scene kept coming back, and the kids were watching... and I was terrified...Then I woke up.
Strangely enough, later that morning I went to church(Hillsong Women). There's a famous guest speaker(I forgot her name, maybe it's Diana) who was trapped in taliban prison for about 3 months during September 11 period of time. She shared her experiences in the prison and how she was walking with God closely during that time and that psalm 91 had become such a reality for her.
At the end she said something which is quite thought provoking to me. She said, in the eyes(or centre) of the tornados there's peace and freedom. You can be in prison, but your spirit is free. Then she mentioned that there are lots of people here, your bodies are free, but your spirits are in prison.
This really caught me thinking. What she has experienced in Taliban prison and the muslin country is no big drama to me. I come from a background where Christians are tortured and human rights are trampled. I know of plenty people being tortured. My closest friend turned out to be a spy and turned me to the police. From an outsider, even from my husband, this is all horror. But in the midst of the horror, I had plenty of freedom. Spiritual freedom. I went to 8 meetings in a week apart from full time job, and I saw miracles happening all the time.
But then I came to a supposely free country. And I found that my spirit was locked behind a prison. I bump into walls wherever I go.
A lot of the times I desire to go back. I want to go back to the mission field. I want to go back where I know all my gifts and talents can be utilised to the full potential. But when I think about my kids, I draw back. Yes, there is horror, there is danger, there is tornado. And they are real.
But I think God is telling me throught that dream, No, you can't take these away from your children. This is life. And this is real blessing. Would you dare believing psalm 91 for your children or would you want them to miss out on the thrills of real great blessing?
I feel there's a fresh, new calling in my life, to go back to the mission field where I belong. But I think it's still in the early stage, the voice is gentle and whispering, rather than loud and strong.

    As seen by Susan @ 12:42 AM

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    Friday, June 04, 2004

God is in the house

I've been flat out moving and settling in. Still a huge mess.
The new house sure feels good, (except for the mess), and there's His presense in the house. Whenever I have a few minutes break to have a cuppa, I can straight away feel rich and full in my spirit.
It's winter here now, and the sun is beautiful. It's all over my bed, lounge, dining and kitchen area most of the day. And outside the windows it's full of greens and golden leaves. I can just sit and watch all morning if I have the time. I can't wait when everything settles and I could just sit down on the lounge and have devotions. The paint of the walls in the main living area turns out really good. The name of the colour is actually called "the first love", with featured darker walls and lighter walls. Feels like an art gallery to me(my husband says like movie theatre).
I've been having lots of dreams since I moved in. I didn't get much before. Prophetic dreams. I'd like to write more about it, but I don't have the time. Maybe some other day.
It also feels to me like a turning point in our lives. God has a lot of new things waiting to unfold to us in this new house.
Thank you God for your blessings!

    As seen by Susan @ 10:07 AM

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About Me

Contact Me:

My picture

My beloved
You hold me now
Some Chinese sayings
The Word becomes flesh
Audible voice
A few recent pictures
Back to school
The battle goes on

My other blog
Jia Lin

Some Other Posts
China trip
Death of seed
Mother's day thoughts
Rachel and Leah

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