Beautiful Day

    Wednesday, January 18, 2006  
Chocholate and vegetable

I woke up from a bad dream last night and couldn't go back to sleep. The dream reminded me of many disappointments happened to me in the past. Things like trusting and loving good friends but found myself betrayed. Unanswered prayers, or even things(not necesarily bad) happened to me that I didn't particularly asked for.

At times I blamed God a lot. I was frustrated with God.

But just looking at my children, I was thinking, what could a perfect God be like in their little mind.... or maybe just let me say, perfect parents. What would they want me to be like.....hmmm, that could be quite interesting. I guess the perfect mum would be the one who always says yes whenever they want chocholates, coke, lollies and chips,etc. The last thing they want from me is vegetables and water. However I'm in constant battle with them when it comes down to eating.

And when I looked back at my life, this is exactly what had happened. I kept asking God for chocholates and coke, and at times I've been so desperate and so passionate about them, but God kept giving me vegetables and water.

I don't necessarily have all the things I want that I think would make me really happy, but when I look again, I do have all the things I need. The chocholates might make me happy for a little while, but if that's all I'm eating then I'm in for big trouble down the track, although my childish mind wouldn't want to think that way.

So, this is what I felt God spoke to me last night. Chocholates and vegetables. Don't get so caught up with chocholates, just be happy with the vegetables in my life and eat them with a good attitute.

And you know what, a mom is a mom. After the child eats his dinner, she still gives the dessert anyway. God will make us happy if we make Him happy first.

    As seen by Susan @ 1:25 PM

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    Monday, January 16, 2006
Spit the dummy

kate's over 3 now. She never wanted a dummy when she was a baby or toddler. But I think when she turned 3 she decided that she wanted a dummy.

I never took much notice of it. I thought it was just another toy for her. And it was kind of cute. All my kids didn't want dummy before, so it didn't bother me at all that Kate started to play with dummies. But she got so into it! She'd suck for whole days and whole night, and if I try to take it away from her it was just like killing her and she'd do everything in her power to get it back! She'd scream, yell, cry, beg, nag...... she's not gonna give it up and let it go at all! Sometimes she'd have two dummies in her mouth and 5 by her pillow just in case she loses one.

It concerns the daycare teachers and they managed to get her off the dummies while she's at school. But as soon as she sees me, she'd ask for dummies.

It seems it's such a big deal to her in her life. Sometimes it seems it's all she wants.

This reminds me of so much things that I ask God in my prayers.
Sometimes I'll ask God for some specific things and God seems to be not interested at all or He just can't be bothered in answering my prayers. I have been frustated, angry and irritated with God. I have been screaming, yelling, begging, nagging...... all because I just can't get my eyes off the topics in my prayers! All I want is my prayer gets answered!

But when finally I cool down, and I look at my life again, I ask myself again, "is it that important to have my prayers answered? Surely it will make me feel good for a while. But is it really that important to God?" Maybe in God's eyes, He'd just smile and say," my child, it's time to spit the dummy now and just grow up!"

A lot ot the times we just can't understand why things happen to us. Why God doesn't answer our prayers. Why God doesn't give us the things we want.... and we just want to wrestle with God like Jacob did with the angel.

I've written about this story before but it came to me afresh again yesterday while at church:
A mother eagle had a baby eagle. The baby eagle grew up in a nest on a tall tree. His mother brought food to him every day and he grew up day by day. Then one day his mother thinks he's now big enough to get his own food and start his own life. But the little eagle has been so used to being fed, he didn't want to leave his comfortable little nest. Then the mommy brought a bit of yummy food and showed him at the entrance of the nest. The little one stepped out, and the mother withdrew, the little eagle stepped out more and oops, he fell. The mother quickly flew over and caught him on her wings. This practise went on for quite a while then suddenly one day the little eagle discovered his own wings during a fall and he flapped them and off he flies!

Sometimes God takes things away from us. At the time all we want is that thing, that bait, that piece of food, that prayer being answered... But if we just relax and let it go, and after the initial shock and panic, we'll actually discover that we have grown up in the process! We'll be able to discover the blue sky that is wider and even more beautiful than we thought before! We'll gradually discover that hey, I don't need that piece of food again, although it really sucks that I didn't get that piece of food that I really wanted... but I can get my own food now! Isn't that glorious!

Look at Job, when he was taken away almost everything he had, and he was asking God all these questions, God didn't answer his questions and gave his piece of food back. He simply smiled, and said, just settle down for a minute, and look at me. Look at the skies, and look at yourself. Job was sad because he lost his nest and his food. But God was happy because he learned to fly by himself. Job discovered God and discovered himself in a new way.

Sometimes we just don't understand why. Our human nature compels us to understand and to find answers. But maybe the best thing to do is just to relax and trust. God is always bigger than ourselves!

    As seen by Susan @ 11:07 AM

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    Friday, January 06, 2006
Eddie Yang

Eddie Yang is the pastor of Hillsong Chinese outreach service. He has been the pastor for many years and the church is flourishing at the moment.

Sadly, he went fishing on Monday evening, by the rocks. A wave got him and he passed away.

Everyone's in shock, as he's so young and so strong. He's only 42, (looking much younger though), and he just got married 2 years ago.

Up until today, everyone in his church has been praying very hard round the clock for a miracle to happen, although he was pronounced dead on Monday evening.

Normally he's very good at swimming, and fishing is his favourite hobby. We just guess that the wave knocked him out so he couldn't swim any more. The life savers got him quickly but were unable to lift him out of the water due to the big waves. By the time the helicopter arrived and got him out, he had already drowned for over half an hour.

His wife didn't witness the scene as she was taking a walk along the beach while Eddie was fishing. She's remaining very calm and strong at the moment, believing firmly that Eddie's coming back to life.

He's a very devoted pastor and he has been living his life for the church. He's always very passionate and loving to the people around him.

I remember when I gave birth to Kate, he came to our house and gave me like 20 pieces of fish. (and they're the expensive ones!) I wasn't even going to his church at the time.

Peter likes him a lot, too. He was helping Eddie a bit with his house renovation a couple years ago.

His mother has been living with him for many years. She'd get up every morning 5am to cook fresh rice for him. She really looks after him well.

Please pray for his mom and his wife as it's just too devastating for them to accept. And please keep everyone in his church in prayer as well!

    As seen by Susan @ 12:06 AM

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About Me

Contact Me:

My picture

My beloved
You hold me now
Some Chinese sayings
The Word becomes flesh
Audible voice
A few recent pictures
Back to school
The battle goes on

My other blog
Jia Lin

Some Other Posts
China trip
Death of seed
Mother's day thoughts
Rachel and Leah

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