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Susan @ 10:32 AM
Friday, January 21, 2005
I'm back from China!!
What a trip, so hard to put down in words. It's just impossible.
It's very emotional for me. It's the first trip back to China after 8 years of immigrating to Australia. Old friends, family, they're still so close and so dear to me. I didn't bring my digital camera, the memory from the trip is almost too sacred for me to put down in pictures.
I spent most of my time seeing friends, so lots and lots of feast and good food. I have to say, when it comes down to food, there's nowhere else in the world that can come even near it to compare with China. I thoroughly enjoyed all the beautiful food, so many varieties. I had feasts just about every day, every meal. Some days it was like, having 3 hours breakfast with some friends, take a half hour break, then another 3 hour lunch with some other friends, take another hour or so break(still with cookies in between), then rush to another restaurant and have another few hours dinner....it was so fun. I wish I had gathered a group of pictures just about food, that'll be an eye opening experience(hehehhe).
I felt so weird and strange travelling without kids, just by myself, as if I returned to my old times of being single. Actually almost all my friends told me that they couldn't see any changes in me, I looked still the same, they could hardly believe I'm already a mother of 3 until they witnessed the photo album that I brought with me everywhere I went.
There's a huge change everywhere in China. I could hardly recognise the city I was once so familiar with. My overal impression is, there's a dramatic improvement and upgrade in economy, but people's spiritual lives are collapsing. There's such a hunger and cry in search of something meaningful apart from the race of chasing financial success.
I visited a few meetings. The sincerity of people's faith are very precious and encouraging to me. For example, one day I went to have lunch with a few friends. There was a sister among us who had just got saved. She's a single mother and has had a very hard life. Single mothers face trememdous pressure in China where people still hold lots of old traditional opinions against them. We had a bit of prayer time before lunch. She tried to escape(like going to another room to have a sleep, and her car played up big time all the way she came,etc.). But eventually she didn't get away with it and she joined the prayer time. There was such a sweet presence of the Holy Spirit. Then we prayed for her, and she started to cry. She cried and cried, and she used just about a roll of tissue paper. Then she started to speak in tongues, then she started to pray for herself, then she started to prophesy for everyone, long ones! Nobody has ever told her how to prophesy, she just did it. She prayed and prophesied, and it was so touching for me to witness the change on her face.
I wish there could be a Hillsong in China. People are so desperate and so hungry. But the churches still remain mostly underground. There are some government churches and they're all overloaded. But they're far from being enough.
It's hard to find some good, healthy music. Most popular singers represent the brokeness of people's emotional state and emptiness. There's still a big trend of Mao(old chairman of China)worshipping.
I felt God's calling of returning to China. I remember before the trip, standing in the auditorium of Hillsong church, this feeling of selfishness. I feel so selfish being in a church where I just get fed and fed to the full, never get a chance to empty out, while in China millions and millions of people are starving to death. I feel God's cry in my heart of His love and longing for Chinese people.
I cried a lot.
Although I'm now holding an Australian passport, but deep down I'm still a Chinese. And the fact that I'm a Chinese in my heart will never change again.
It means a lot more to me now, thinking Jesus leaving the glory of heaven and coming down to earth; and that Moses leaving the comfort of his royal palace and placed himself among the slaves.
I felt a lot of God Himself while in China. His love, His passion, His longings,His pain and His sufferings.... His feelings in me.
What a trip!
I'll never be the same again.
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