As seen by
Susan @ 12:42 AM
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
By the grace of God
Today is a new day of reality.
Peter went back to work. He took a whole week off to be with Jamie, he's a really good dad. Jamie said the best thing out of all this is that she got to spend time with daddy.
But he had to go back to work. So it started the first day of responsibilities mostly on me.
I was a bit nervous at the beginning of how this all gonna work. Bode, my 11 month baby, was a bit sick for a couple of days, a bit of fever and cold, so he had been very clingy. I could hardly put him down on the floor for just a few minutes or having a friend cuddle him...he would scream straight away.
I had organised for him to be in childcare today, but in the back of my mind I had thought over and over if I should cancel that, because it just didn't seem it'd work. What if he kept screaming as soon as I got in hospital? It's about 30 minutes drive. What if half way through treatment the childcare wanted me to pick him up? Maybe I should just keep him with me.
Well, I decided to still give it a go with childcare. I dropped Ellie, Kate, and Bode at three different places, school and different childcare for Kate and Bode. Then I took Jamie to the hospital. They took some blood, then we went to the clinic for chemo treatment. There was about 2 hour wait. Jamie coped very well. She had to have needles on finger and bottom. It was very unpleasant to watch, but she didn't cry at all. She just held my hands very tight when it hurt. The nurses were very kind and skillful. She did a lot of drawings and color-ins while waiting. It was quite a long wait, the other patients told me to just get used to it.....there're gonna be lots of hospital visits, at least twice a week for now. Meanwhile I sorted out car park ticket, medicines from the pharmacies, got some lunch from the canteen,etc. Amazingly, the childcare didn't ring.
I found myself saying again and again today, by the grace of God, by the grace of God. ......By the grace of God, I got a carpark space in the peak hour of the busiest day, by the grace of God, Jamie went well with all the treatment, and nothing went wrong, by the grace of God, Bode settled quite well in the childcare, I picked him up at nearly 4pm and he was quite happy, by the grace of God, the treatment finished at 2:40pm, just in time for me to rush back to school to pick up Ellie at 3pm......by the grace of God, the first day of hospital visit when everything is new and unfamiliar to me I was able to go with just Jamie and I had somewhere to drop off all the other kids...by the grace of God someone dropped us a meal at dinner time to ease the burden....
There're so many things to be thankful in the last week. I could hardly write them all down. I did try to collect them in my notebook and I got a long list...
One thing I decided to do is try to be aware of God's blessing, to be aware of how the angels fill in the gaps. God's grace is sufficient. Where there's trouble, grace abounds. I remember Donna Crouch used to preach, look out for blessings....when her daughter broke her arms God wispered in her spirit, look out for blessings.....I remember Venessa preached, collect your harvest, pick one fruit at a time, keep picking them and you'll soon have a whole basket of fruit and that's how you have your harvest....
Every night before retiring for the day I'd like to retreat to my journal book and write down God's whispers in my spirit. And I found it so refreshing and encouraging. He filled up my strength during these moments so that I had peace to go on the next day.
Yes, one day at a time. I'm just so thankful for God's grace in my life.
I can write so much more, but it's 1:30am now. I'd better go.
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