Beautiful Day

    Saturday, January 17, 2004  

Strong willed child

Last weekend I heard a message about parenting. The preacher said there was a big difference between his first and second child. The first daughter was very compliant, he only need to hold the wooden spoon and she would melt away and begged, No daddy no daddy. But the second child was very strong willed. If he showed her the wooden spoon, her expression would be "bring it on!" and no matter how hard he hit her, she wouldn't fase.
Well this is exactly the same as my first and second child. With Ellie, she's quite easy, I only need to threaten her a little bit or just a pat smack, or just hold my hand up she'll do what she's supposed to do. And if I tell her I'd give her a treat she'd be quite happy to do all her work. But with Jamie, it's totally different. Right from the pregnancy she's different. She wouldn't turn. We had lots of prayers, excercises, moves trying to get her to turn around so I could have a natural birth, she wouldn't. She just wanted to sit up the whole time and there's no way she'd turn around. So I ended up having a C-section. If there's something she doesn't want to do, you'd move a mountain before you can move her. She's a very fussy eater. I've tried everything I can think of, but she would only eat a few things that she recognises. Anything new she'd refuse. No matter how hard I smack her, even my hand stings and hurt, she wouldn't show any sign of compromise. As she's going to a daycare this year where they serve cooked hot lunch, I disgussed with my husband that we'd try to teach her to eat some normal food. We didn't set our goals too high, only two things for the whole summer: mince(as with speghetti) and Pizza. We tried mince first, I cooked a really nice shepherds pie. We promised her she could go anywhere she wants if she swallows just one spoon. She wouldn't. We tried reasoning, didn't work. So we decided to try force... she emptied everything out from her stomach. We did again, she emptied again until there's nothing she could spit out. And I haven't been able to bother her with pizza. She's been doing swimming lessons for a while. She'd have a most beautiful smile on her face until the teacher tries to put her head in the water. and she'd scream and then no one can do anything about it.
The preacher said the strong willed child, if channeled properly, without breaking the spirit, will turn out to be a great leader. I totally agree. But how?
She's very talented and gifted, very smart. But getting her to practise is another thing.
Should I wait for her to make her own decision or is there anything I can do?
Sometimes I just feel frustrated.

    As seen by Susan @ 1:28 AM

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