Replace
"Whatever God takes away, He replaces it with Himself."
This is an old song that had spoken to me so much time after time. Ever since I became a Christian, this lyrics has been the feature of my life. He takes away, and He replaces, He takes away, and He blesses...until I have not much left, and all I have is Jesus.
The process is painful, yet in the same time it's joyful. Just like pruning: when you cut off the unwanted branches, it hurts! and it doesn't look right for the moment, but in due time it'll bring rewards.
This morning I felt heaps of emotion going through me. First I put on an old hillsong cassette tape in the car while taking kids to schools, and I just felt the presence of God and the annointing was so intense in the car(I always love the old Hillsong music more as there was such a freshness and God's breath in them) that I just had to yell out "praise God! Thank you,Lord" a few times(which doesn't sound like me, I'm pretty quiet most of the time). Yet in the meantime, I felt sad. I felt helplessly lonely. It's hard to even share my feelings with anyone. I know once again, I'll have to let go, something that I know it's not doing me good any more, but I still like to hang on with it. And I felt sentimental.
But after I've made my decision, the emotions didn't really hang around too long. I guess it's only painful when I'm struggling with it, and trying to hang on with it. Once I said, Ok, Lord, just take it, I actually felt quite free. Seems like a burden lifted off. And all day long I just feel this sweet presence of the Holy Spirit, I actually feel a bit drunk.
Monday, October 20, 2003
