Roller Coaster

Yesterday at Hillsong women, Jamie went up to the front, and a few key pastors led the whole church prayed over her. It was such a moment. Pastor Bobbie gave her several CD and DVDs and a huge chocholate. While we were all praying, I felt my hands shaking, which is quite unusual.

Chemo starts to get a bit hard on Jamie. Although we explained to her a few times, and she read the book about chemo herself, I don't think she quite understands what's happening. Yesterday at the hospital, she had a big cry when it was the needle time again. Then last night, she lashed out on daddy, and refused to take medicine. She thought it was all daddy's fault......it was daddy who insisted on having a blood test to her, and ever since that she hasn't stopped having to have medicines and needles...and the more medicines she had, the sicker she felt...... she doesn't quite get it why so many people suddenly become so nice to her, either.

She constantly has tummy ache and headache, and in between that she has cravings for food.
Like yesterday before Hillsong women, she had a piece of raisin toast, and then for the whole morning she just kept asking me,"mommy, can I have another piece of raisin toast?" I asked her later what she liked most about church, and she said.....the toast (lol)
Usually it's quite an effort to get her to eat one spoonful of green leafy vegies, but last night she ate a whole bowl of green vegies by herself and she still kept thinking about it the whole night, and asked me for that this morning....I had to go to the shops to get some more this morning so she could have that for breakfast....(well she had dropped the toast already)...sounds like how I felt when I was pregnant.

Life at the moment feels like a roller coaster. Although there're some sudden turns and some scary moments, even some screams, inside I know I have a safety belt and I'm holding on tightly to the safety bar. It's a journey....an unusual type of journey.....it's a roller coaster ride time!!! (BTW, roller coaster is Jamie's favourite ride, she's never scared of it.)